


Dancing in the Dark

by misura



Category: Star Trek - Various Authors
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Amnesia, Dubious Consent, F/M, Morning After, Sexual Tension, Stranded, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 14:04:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13078428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Jean wakes up on an alien planet with no memory of how she has gotten there.





	Dancing in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sandrine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandrine/gifts).



The first thing Jean realized when she ... woke up? regained consciousness? was that everything hurt, her head worst of all. She was lying on what appeared to be some kind of huge leaves in what looked like a cave, rather than a familiar sickbay - although given how she felt, she might have even welcomed an unfamiliar one.

As her senses slowly returned to her Jean realized that she had no memory whatsoever of how she had gotten here, or even of where 'here' might be. She tried to keep her breathing steady - panicking or bursting into tears wouldn't help her in any way.

She appeared to be in a safe place, at least for the moment. Nothing she could see indicated that she'd been taken prisoner, or that she hadn't come here of her own volition.

Her legs and arms were functional. She was able to get up, walk, bend and pick up a water bottle to drink from it. Jean told herself that these were all good things. Right now, she needed to focus on staying alive in the present, rather than worry about the past.

An unfamiliar backpack held over a week's worth of rations. That was good, too. Assuming someone knew she was here, and assuming they knew she was in trouble, she was unlikely to starve before they got here.

She was almost beginning to feel optimistic when she heard something behind her. Footsteps. The sound should have reassured her, really; not being stranded alone with a gap in her memory on an alien planet was surely preferable over being here all by herself. Instead, she felt her body tense, adrenaline coursing through her blood as she turned around.

It was - _Tirax? What's_ he _doing here? Didn't Kang send him away somewhere?_

Tirax didn't look the least surprised to see her, Jean noted with a sinking feeling. If anything, his expression was smug. Pleased.

_Of all the times to lose my memory. Again._ Jean wondered if she'd been cursed somehow. Surely normal agriculturalists didn't keep up ending in these sorts of situations.

"You're up," Tirax said. "Good. How do you feel?"

Jean was pretty sure he knew damn well how she felt. That was probably why he looked so happy, enjoying her suffering, the way he had before. Then, though, she'd known that while he wouldn't lift a finger to help her, he wouldn't actively hurt her, either. Kang would not permit it.

She had no idea if the same was still true now. Heck, she had no idea what Tirax was even doing here, with her, acting like it was the most normal thing in the universe for the two of them to be in each other's company.

The only thing she did know was that Tirax must not find out about the gaping hole in her memory.

"I've felt better," she said. Should she ask him how _he_ felt now? It seemed superfluous, but on the other hand, if she got him talking, it might enable her to start putting the pieces together of what had happened. "How was your trip?"

If he thought her question odd, Tirax's face gave away nothing. "It's as we thought," he said.

Jean wondered if maybe he did know about her memory loss and was toying with her now. "Oh."

Tirax walked over to the backpack and helped himself to one of the rations. His back presented a fine target, had Jean been inclined to stick her knife in it.

She cleared her throat. "So what do you suggest we do next?"

Tirax turned, frowning. "Next?"

"About our situation," Jean tried.

"What is there to do but wait?" Tirax said. Something about his tone felt off, like there was something he wasn't telling her, like he was keeping something from her.

Jean wished she knew more about Klingon body language. It would be very useful to be able to tell when Tirax was lying to her. "Will we have enough supplies?"

"Yes," Tirax said, biting off the word as if her question made him angry.

_Well,_ Jean told herself. _I guess angry is better than happy._ She almost grinned as she realized how strange it would have been to think that about anyone else. Most people, Jean had much rather see happy than angry. With Tirax, though, it was different.

"Does something amuse you?" Tirax sounded even angrier.

_Yes._ That wasn't true, though. Tirax scared her. She just didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he did. She wanted - Jean swallowed, as a wave of heat seemed to wash over her out of nowhere. It was a strange sensation, in particular since there seemed no external cause for it whatsoever, other than Tirax.

Had he poisoned her? Was that why he'd looked so smug earlier? Had he gotten angry only when he thought she hadn't been affected?

Jean decided to opt for part of the truth. "My head hurts."

"You're weak," Tirax said. "You will always be weak, needing other people to protect you."

No point in asking if he was volunteering for the job, Jean judged. She felt giddy, but the heat had gone again. She wished she knew what was going on. "I have a knife." Was it a mistake to remind him of that? He might try to take it away from her when she slept. "I know how to defend myself."

Tirax lunged for her, too quickly to dodge him. Before Jean could even think of screaming, he was holding her pressed against him, unable to move her arms or reach her knife.

_Not that there's likely to be anyone around to hear me._ Besides, Jean didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Bad enough that he'd noticed how weak she was. _I should have taken the backpack and a few water bottles and left._ Perhaps she still might. Tirax hadn't been there when she'd opened her eyes earlier, after all. He might leave her by herself again, if he thought she wasn't strong enough to run away.

She forced herself not to struggle. Tirax probably wanted her to, so that he could remind her again of how weak she was, how easy it was for him to overpower her - _provided I'm injured and possibly poisoned_. Close as they were, Jean felt the heat radiating off of Tirax's body. She imagined she could almost hear his heartbeat - she definitely heard his breathing, coming faster now that he had her where he wanted her.

It was hard to keep quiet, particularly when Tirax moved one of his hands to -

"Get off of me." Jean felt nearly blinded with anger. She was vaguely aware of other emotions hiding underneath the anger - fear, and something else. "And move your hand, unless you want to lose it."

Tirax chuckled. "That's not what you said yesterday."

Jean felt her body go cold. _What?_ It had to be a lie - but why would Tirax tell her something so obviously untrue? _Unless it's not._ "I don't - " _I don't remember what happened yesterday._ She couldn't tell him that. "Yesterday was yesterday. This is today."

"Is that so?" Tirax asked. "Is that how you want to play this, then? Better be careful, human. If you're not careful, you might get hurt." Then he chuckled and abruptly released her.

Jean tried not to stumble as she took a few steps away from him, to put some distance between her and him. Her mind was awhirl as she tried to work her way through what Tirax was implying. She desperately wished there would be some way of determining what had happened.

"I will keep watch," Tirax said. "Do what you want."

Jean wondered if that first part was supposed to be a threat or a reassurance. Tirax being Tirax, the former seemed more likely. Still, with Tirax out of the way, she might do a more thorough search for medical supplies. Even if there was no treatment for amnesia that she knew of, at least she might find something to numb the pain from her scrapes and bruises.

 

When Jean opened her eyes again, it was dark. She realized that she was shivering, in spite of having taken both blankets she'd found for herself, reasoning that if Tirax had wanted one for himself, he would have taken it already.

She had no idea where Tirax was now - or who or what he kept watch for. Spock would have told her that the return of memories could not be forced, to have patience and let the process occur naturally. Jean felt like she didn't have time for things to 'occur naturally', though. She needed to know what had happened to her _now_.

Grabbing one of the blankets, she cautiously moved towards the opening of the cave. Two moons, and lots of stars she didn't immediately recognize. Not that that was saying much: she was an agriculturalist, not an astronomer or navigator.

"Going for a walk?" Tirax sounded cold. Angry again, or still, but hopefully not about to grab her again.

"Cold," Jean admitted, waiting for some sneering comment about human females.

"Fire attracts predators," Tirax said. "And ... other things. As you know."

_Things like angry Klingon who try to imply that I - that they -_ Jean forced herself to stay calm. She was a scientist. Admittedly, not a zoologist, but still. "So when do you sleep?"

"You think you can survive here on your own?" Tirax chuckled. "I'd almost like to see you try. To have you come crawling back, begging for my aid, my protection."

"Dream on." Getting angry made her feel a little warmer.

"You're right. Someone as stubborn as you - you'd probably die before asking someone for anything," Tirax said. "I'd have to come after you. You'd risk both our lives for the sake of your pride."

"I'm perfectly capable of asking people for things."

"Is that so?" Tirax moved. Jean tensed, hating herself for being so predictable. Granted, in this poor light, Tirax might not have seen. "Prove it. Ask me for something."

"You have nothing that I want or need." Jean felt her mouth go dry as Tirax came even closer.

Given the events that had taken place earlier, she didn't think Tirax would hurt her, or rather, that he was allowed to. She was probably still under Kang's protection. Tirax probably had orders to protect her. Help was probably on the way. _Those are a lot of probablies._ If only there had been someone else around, someone she could actually trust to tell her the truth.

"Don't I?" Tirax made no motion to capture her. He simply kept coming closer, likely knowing Jean had no intention of giving way or backing off.

Jean wryly reflected that perhaps Tirax wasn't completely wrong when he accused her of wrong-headed pride. She might have simply stepped aside, or turned and walked away. That would have been smarter. Safer.

"You have no sense of self-preservation whatsoever, do you? Nor common sense."

"I don't see anything or anyone here that I should be afraid of," Jean said, lifting her head so that she could look him straight in the eye. "Do you? Are you afraid of me?"

Tirax guffawed, then scowled, as if he blamed Jean for having made him lose his composure. "What male fears a female after she has submitted to him? All this grand-standing will not negate the truth."

"That's not the way I remember it happening at all." _To be accurate, I have no recollection of anything from the past week._ Still, Jean knew a bluff when she heard one. She hoped. Under what circumstances would she ever have 'submitted' to Tirax? Certainly none that Jean could think of.

"Would you like me to refresh your memory?"

_Yes._ Well, maybe. It was all hypothetical anyway. "Would you like to be reminded what it feels like to be bested by a human female?"

"You could not resist me," Tirax stated.

_Ah, yes. The irresistible Tirax._ Jean was beginning to feel light-headed again. She wondered if it was a side-effect of her memory loss. "Try me. I dare you."

Tirax stared at her for a long moment. "Was that a request?"

_What?_ "No." Jean swallowed. "Why would you even - "

"Yesterday," Tirax said. "You asked. I obliged you. You should be grateful."

_I asked?_ "Again, that's not exactly what I remember happened."

"Then what do you remember, human? Do you recall begging me?" Tirax's eyes glittered. "Do you remember how you got the bruises on your shoulders? Your wrists? Do you remember trying to stab me and failing this time, because of how overwhelmed with lust you were?"

Jean's mouth was dry. There _were_ bruises on her shoulders and wrists. _That doesn't mean he's telling the truth, of course._ She had bruises all over her body. Some of them might have come from sex, she supposed, but a struggle sounded equally plausible.

"I recall I wasn't the only one begging," she tried. It might be a mistake, to go along with this, but if Tirax had no idea about her amnesia, _something_ must have happened. Even if it hadn't happened the way Tirax claimed, he was too insistent for Jean to be able to continue to believe he was lying.

"Males may do or say all sorts of foolish things when a female has a hold of their _kazli_ ," Tirax said. "It means nothing. It changes nothing between us."

"Good. I still don't like you." Jean wondered if she'd really made Tirax beg. It didn't seem like something he'd lie about. She wished she had the memory of that, at least.

"One day, your luck will run out. On that day, I will be there," Tirax promised.

"I look forwards to it." Jean couldn't quite suppress a shiver. _It's the cold,_ she told herself.

"Meanwhile, if you wish to throw yourself at my feet after an encounter with a _limarni_ , know that I always welcome an opportunity to remind a female of her proper place."

_A what?_

"Once again, your memory is rather selective," Jean said, even though she knew nothing of the sort. Still, Tirax's words had loosened something - too vague to be an actual memory, but if there was some animal here that made people crave sex, it stood to reason it had dosed Tirax as well as her.

The ensuing encounter was regrettable. Still, Jean felt a certain relief. No sensible person would feel guilt or embarrassment over what had, after all, been caused by a simple biological imperative.

Tirax's insinuations and accusations notwithstanding, Jean had nothing to regret - other, perhaps, than not having been more careful of the local fauna.

None of this quite explained her ensuing memory loss, though. Jean wondered if the two things were even related, or if they were simple coincidences. Tirax did not seem to be suffering from any memory loss. _Possibly a piece of good luck._ Jean had no idea what would have happened, had both she and Tirax woken up without their memories. She doubted it would have been good, though.

"Are you accusing me of lying?" Tirax asked. "A duel in the half-dark might be interesting. Ah. But I forgot. You're injured. It would be dishonorable."

"I'm saying that neither of us were ourselves when we - yesterday," Jean said. "It's illogical to pretend otherwise. Like you said, it means and changes nothing."

"It means I know now what it feels like to have you under me, screaming out your pleasure even as you stare at me like you wish you might have a knife to cut me with."

_I guess I can believe that second part, at least._ "Shouldn't that be my line?"

Tirax actually grinned, showing teeth. "So?"

_So can I trust you enough to tell you the truth?_ Nothing had changed, Jean reflected. If anything, discovering that their intimacy had been the result of biological impulses rather than any emotions should make her even more wary. _So how do I find out if anyone's coming? Or what we're even supposed to be doing here?_ She sighed, her headache returning in full force.

Part of her almost preferred for her memories to stay gone, rather than discover how much truth there had been in Tirax's description of what had passed between them, but the bigger (and better) part of Jean's mind knew that there were very few things she wouldn't be willing to do in order to remember. Knowledge was power, after all, and if Tirax wanted to play games with her, he'd soon find out his mistake in underestimating her.


End file.
